“I think your mom has a layover in Boston this afternoon.”
That’s how it began.
Monday afternoon I was exchanging some email with my dad who was working in London after he had spent a long weekend there with my mom. It’s not uncommon for us to get into email conversations which are widely meaningless, but might have a few “by the way” points that are interesting. Finding out that my mom was going to be in Boston for a few hours was a “by the way” point.
After asking for it, the next email contained the specific flight information, specifically:
AMERICAN AIRLINES #109
Depart : London(LHR) at Apr 07, 2008 10:55 AM Arrive : Boston(BOS) at Apr 07, 2008 01:10 PM
AMERICAN AIRLINES #541
Depart : Boston(BOS) at Apr 07, 2008 05:35 PM Arrive : Dallas/ Fort Worth(DFW) at Apr 07, 2008 08:50 PM
So what I gathered was that around lunchtime, the first plane would be landing and then there would be four hours before the next plane would be leaving. My thought process obviously turned then to lunch and I decided that I could go to the airport, meet up with Mom, and then have lunch. After a quick call to Cassandra (who wasn’t working), I had a ride, er, friend to go to the airport with.
Technology is very helpful in this process. It really makes it easy to connect with anyone anytime. You see, you start by looking up flight status. Arriving at 1:13 in Terminal E. Check. Then, you look up updated parking information and find out that the Terminal E short term lot currently is only 55% filled. Place to park? Check. Traffic conditions from the internet? Check. Easy access to the airport through the tunnels. Perfect. All that’s left is the one universal rule that every person under the age of 30 knows for a fact, but cannot explain.
Old people NEVER think to check their cell phones.
That was the wildcard here, really. It was the only question mark, so I took precautions. I called American Airlines and asked that a message get delivered to Michelle Crawford when she got off of flight 109 from London. “We don’t do that,” I learned. Thinking quickly (and forgetting the rule about lying) and reached into my deck and pulled out the card I knew would win the hand. The MS card. “You see, she has MS and I have very important medication information that she HAS to know as soon as she leaves the plane.” All of the sudden I had their attention. That worked like a charm. I was transferred to the local AA branch who had a representative take down all of the information and assured me that the message would reach her before the plane landed.
I wasn’t the only one who lied.
Cassandra picked me up from work, we made our way to the airport, and using the information we had gained earlier parked in the lot outside of Terminal E. After a check on the blackberry to make sure gate and time status was unchanged, we were inside at about 1:30. We had given about a 20 minute buffer for customs which seemed reasonable. I took a bathroom break, and then made a call to my mom’s phone to tell her we had come to see her.
“You have reached the Sprint PCS Voice Mailbox of… 9…7…2…” Click.
Well, maybe if I call again… No luck. Apparently it doesn’t matter how many times you call, if the other person’s phone is off, they won’t get the call. We had been informed that another of my mom’s former co-workers was traveling with her, so I called EDS, pretended I was Jim Crawford, and asked for Laurel’s cell phone. Well of COURSE that went straight to voice mail also. Our next plan was to stand by the international arrivals exit, which was basically a funnel that anyone on an international flight leaving terminal E had to go through. After doing more research on the blackberry, we discovered that her next flight was in Terminal B, and there was no secure transportation. They were forced to go by two points of the airport: this exit, and the security entrance at Terminal B. Other than that, it was a guessing game as to where they were or how to get a hold of them. Maybe I’ll try calling again.
“You have reached the Sprint PCS Voice Mailbox of… 9…7…2…” Click.
We rolled the dice and waited by the Terminal E exit, hoping that customs would take a while. We still saw people coming out with “AA 109” on their bag tags so that gave us some hope. Turns out it was false hope. Soon those tags got fewer and fewer until eventually they turned to those of a flight that landed 25 minutes after AA 109. We had missed. What’s worse, my mom had her chance to slip through security over in Terminal B without being detected. Remember that Cassandra and I don’t have airline boarding passes, so we’re not allowed past security. If we don’t catch them first, we don’t catch them.
Over to Terminal B we go. By now it is about 2:05. A scan of the current security line revealed nobody we knew, but did have several ugly people waiting and even more stupid people. Remember, this is Boston. That is what we all have come to expect. In fact, the new Boston slogan will be changed to “We’re Ugly, We’re Stupid, We’re Boston” later this year.
Next it was time to play detective. Using my same creative story from before, I pulled out the stack of MS cards I would need to accomplish my task. I laid the first one down at the ticket counter. I was told to take the rest of them downstairs because they had no way of paging anyone. The next one, I handed to the woman at the Logan Information desk, asking if they could page someone. They said they would, but that it would not be heard inside the secure area. No luck. I tried the third at the baggage handling desk, where the woman claimed that her page would be heard inside security. While very nice and helpful, she was clearly out of her mind. She did page “Meetchel Grawfir” though, which was loud and clear downstairs. I got no call from my mom though, so it didn’t work so well. The nice brain-dead lady then called the gate and had them page her at the gate, but it was too early for anyone to be there, so we had to settle for her calling a different gate that wasn’t quite in the same area, and that page was ineffective as well.
Remember that at this point I still don’t know whether my mom is even in this building, much less where to have them page her. Cassandra and I had, by now, split up into Team Bravo and Team Delta scouring over travelers like snipers looking for the people we had come to see. We were working on hand signals and about 20 minutes from giving up, when I got a call from an unknown number.
Them: “This is Laurel. Did you call me?”
Me: “Where are you!?!?!”
Laurel: “Who IS this?”
Me: “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, are you inside security?”
Laurel: (Now in a more scared voice) “Do I know you?”
After I realized that I sounded like a psycho, I decided to explain the situation. I learned that they were just finishing up eating but my mom was excited to see me. She was surprised to learn that I was actually at the airport as she was trying to tell me she was in Boston. They came out and while Cassandra and I had lunch at Legal Sea Foods, we talked about the hunt. I said, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Why didn’t you turn on your cell phone?” And just as I expected, that old person and their phones rule played out just like it’s supposed to.
“Well, I packed it in my checked baggage, of course.”