Too many captions that fit carrying this piece of crap packaging job around DC, I couldn’t pick one, so whatever, here they are.
“This way I can ask tourists for change, too.”
“If you said ‘WTF’, you are correct.”
“It wouldn’t fit in my pants, so I put it in this box.”
“It would be ugly if it weren’t for the ‘Touch of Class’ tape all over it.”
“Has anyone ever been murdered in DC carrying one of these around?”
“Good, now I’m the weirdo on the subway.”
“There’s a reason Cassandra isn’t in this photo.”
“I went to the zoo, and couldn’t sneak out a whole elephant, so I sawed off his trunk and disguised it as the worst packaging job in history.”
“Don’t worry, nobody here knows who I am. Well, you know, except that my name is on the box like seventy times.”
“I had to yell ‘Hey, did anyone drop this?!?!’ for a full two mile walk.”
“Look! I found the bum’s national monument!”
“How long do I have to carry this before I turn gay?”
“Yeah? What would YOU have used as a handle, smart guy?”
“I gave the bellman a $20 tip to not tell anyone what he has seen today. Ever.”
“When I told the hotel guy I was carrying it on the train, he tried not to laugh, but was unsuccessful.”
“It’s not polite to point.”
“How much do you think I could get a homeless guy to be my ‘ugly box caddy’ for?”
“Umm, on second thought, can you just send that back with the guy who dropped that off here in the first place?”
“If I time it right, I can step out right as a car is coming and not have to carry this through downtown DC.”
“Pretend this is cool.”
Last one:
“Fix this, Obama!!!!!!”